CYNOSURE.

Dark clouds obscured the stars and moon, a fierce breeze whistled through the window as the leaves from the trees outside pitter-pattered on the roof. I rested against the cushioned seat in my room, and stared blankly at  the roof. I felt frightened  and  fatigued. I felt as if  there was a viscous, heavy weight pulling me down . I heard sounds like muted background noise of violins scratching away, that seemed to be ever increasing in speed and out of sync – while the outside world seemed  dampened and fading.  I was stressed by the thoughts of having to sit for a very important examination in my  life - The Kenya Certificate for Secondary Education (KCSE), while sick. The exams were due in three weeks time, and my strength was fading slowly.

My thoughts wandered from my sickly state to the events of five months before. The events of that sunny day in  the month of June changed the course of history in my high school life. On that particular  day, the school had organised a prize giving ceremony. The stakeholders in the community had been invited - this was a seismic shift from how such ceremonies were conducted before. These stakeholders included the parents, clergy, government representatives and representatives from the neighboring schools (teachers and students).

The amalgamation of the activities during that ceremony brought an exhilarating experience. I didn't know that I would be the cynosure of all eyes until when the ceremony began. When it kicked off, my name was the first to be called by the Master of ceremony.  A certificate of merit; accompanied by a sealed gift, was handed over to me by one of the invited guest - for being the most disciplined student.

Before I even settled down, the Master of ceremony called my name and again a certificate of merit accompanied by a sealed gift was handed over to me by another invited guest - for performing well in English.

When my name was called a third time, I felt a warm powerful energy in my body - I could feel it best around my stomach area. I felt like I was being embraced by the world. To say that I was happy, would be an understatement. For a third time, a certificate of merit accompanied by a sealed gift was handed over to me by yet another invited guest - for being among the top three students in my class.

The events of that day played a pivotal role  in earning respect from both my peers in school and my village community at large. Parents in the village got an example when advising their children to work hard in school and to maintain discipline - in fact some started referring their sons; so that I may advise and encourage them to emulate my good example.

It always scares me  to realize how one never knows what lays  ahead. I was adamant that all things would work well, oblivious of what was to befall me there after. Falling sick during the exam was ludicrous. Cognizant of the fact that my concentration during the exam was to be greatly affected  by my condition, I started panicking. Owing to my potential , the school and the society at large expected me to perform well in the exams - but this expectation was in jeopardy. To whom much is given, much is expected; says the Bible.

I started sinking into depression. A deep heavy sadness surrounded me, and I felt like there was a thick fog which slowly rolled in and enveloped every part of me. It was so hard for me to see my way out, and my vision of a positive future was blocked.

As the clock ticked, the seconds turned to minutes then hours and days - and finally the examination day arrived. My condition hadn't improved, and in fact it had gotten worse. Even before I sat for the exams, I had predicted all the eventualities. 

In my next article, I shall be revealing  the details of what exactly happened during the examination period  and the steps I took after the release of the results.

...............................................................................


Thanks for reading. Please feel free to drop your comments.